DEAR ABBY: Growing older man’s antics and ego make him onerous to be round

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DEAR ABBY: My narcissistic father feels entitled to do no matter he pleases. He has at all times insisted that since he makes the cash, way over my mom’s earnings, he needs to be waited on and cleaned up after. If he stays in my house, he leaves messes in all places. He’s 70, however he acts like a 4-year-old.

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He loves consideration and can do something to be the centre of it, whether or not it’s sporting a kilt or exhibiting off his mental prowess. I’ve no relationship with him, and I’m OK with that. Mother complains continuously about him, after which defends him. It’s emotionally exhausting.

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My husband, our children and I are appalled at his lack of self-awareness, empathy or caring. He makes happening trip a nightmare. He feels that if he does all of the driving, then he’s finished his half and refuses to assist with anything. He’s troublesome and manipulative.

He’s getting worse as he will get older, and I not wish to topic my household to this. My mom doesn’t appear to know this. How do I take care of a narcissistic father and a mom who refuses to acknowledge it and continuously makes excuses for him? — EXASPERATED IN PENNSYLVANIA

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DEAR EXASPERATED: One approach to take care of it will be to cease taking holidays with them, because the holidays appear to be something however nice for you and your loved ones. Attempt to keep away from him as typically as you possibly can. When your mom complains about “Dad,” level out that that is the prize she married and you might be uninterested in listening to her complain since she gained’t assert herself. Then change the topic when she brings it up.


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DEAR ABBY: My brother is rising from a painful two-year-long divorce, throughout which his two teenage daughters and one grown daughter grew to become estranged from him. His now-ex-wife overshared with them throughout the divorce and did the whole lot she might to stop them from seeing him, regardless of courtroom orders for him to have joint custody, visitation and remedy.

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My brother isn’t excellent, however he loves his women and desires them in his life. He’s slowly making progress with one in every of his minor daughters. My drawback is his ex has induced them to shun the remainder of their paternal relations. My two sisters (their aunts) and I are pained by the lack of these relationships.

We nonetheless attain out at holidays and birthdays with texts, items and properly needs, however we obtain no response, not even a well mannered “thanks.” As a result of we stood by our brother throughout a horrible expertise, we’re “responsible by affiliation.” Ought to we proceed reaching out or depart them alone till they’re able to have a relationship with us once more? — VICTIM OF DIVORCE

DEAR VICTIM: I don’t assume it is best to proceed sending items that go unacknowledged. Nonetheless, depart the traces of communication open by sending playing cards to your nieces on applicable events. When you haven’t mentioned this along with your brother, I like to recommend you do, and take your lead from him.

— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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